Category Archives: Dreams

What’s Your Miracle Dust?

That stuff you sprinkle when you need to move on and smile?

I saw this picture and I laughed out-loud. I think I was sitting at my desk about to take lunch and I’m not the quietest person in the world. My coworker must believe I’m nuts at times, mumbling to myself, singing to myself, whistling, oh well. He’s probably used to it by now.

But, miracle dust is a great thought. How some days we can feel overwhelmed with emotion, feeling like we’re getting no where and we wonder at times, is it worth it? Should I give up? Should I just be okay with where I am?

Miracle dust is the stuff in our lives that breaks up a train of bad thoughts. A really great memory from the past. A moment you did something great. Maybe a song you heard, words from a friend, and a hug works too. It’s easy to go backwards. It’s easy to let our minds get the best of us. I can get down when I think about where I want to be and how I’m not quite there and I’m working so hard.

When I write, I feel like I’m reaching into this million piece puzzle box, and I stick my hand in the box, and I pull out something pretty and perfect. But then I wonder, what do I do with this piece? Where do I place it so someone else will see it too? And some days, you just have to try, even if you end up throwing the whole thing back in the box.

I don’t think I’m alone in feeling like I have to start over some days. I learn each time I do start over, I actually move faster and get ahead before I know I moving past where I once stood. It’s a mix of crazy determination and belief. Every writer, or dreamer, or entrepreneur who’s ever lived their dreams says, you have to keep going. So keep going, pull out a little miracle dust if you have to and sprinkle as necessary.

Erika

Posted in Dreams, Erika Beebe, keep going, Miracles

Monday Makeover: Confessions of a Giant Worry Wart

Apr 15

Posted by Erika Beebe

www.brayola.com

I wake up. I rub my sleepy eyes and walk slowly down the hall to the kitchen. I take my thyroid medication. I fill a cup of coffee and I sit down at my computer, and I worry.

Was I too loud when I woke up? Will my babies stay asleep? What will I write today? My head is so foggy, and what if I can’t feel my characters? What if the pictures I pick are not exactly what I mean?

What if…

I see my babies. They crawl into bed and beg for snuggles. We cuddle a bit, and suddenly a new string of worries grabs me: what if they don’t always have their health, what if they get sick, or go to school and someone bullies them? What if I didn’t show them the right values? Did I love them enough?

What if…

I go to work. I sit at my desk sipping coffee. The phone rings. I answer and hang up after making sure the person on the other end of the conversation felt listened to. My brain runs off again: What if I didn’t say the right thing, or I didn’t give them what they wanted to hear? What if I don’t make my personal deadlines for the day, or I don’t communicate well? What if I walk down the hall and I talk out loud or accidentally sing a song out loud that’s running through my head and someone laughs?

I do talk out loud. I don’t know if it’s a mom thing and having two small children where I’m constantly talking out loud and explaining and animating the choices I make to teach my kids important values. I do wonder about what to write and where the creativity will come from. I wonder if I’m saying the right words. I wonder if people understand me. I’m worried about my kids because I see them as the two precious clean slates gifted right into my hands. I wonder about my message every moment and if I’m also asking the right questions.

So what next?

First the mind creates the worries. Then the body reacts. My stomach gets tight. My breath becomes shallow. I could go on with my list, because if I’m not careful, they start to race through my mind again.

Worry is my biggest vice. It sends me into a downward spiral where I over-think the easiest solution, and the funniest thing is, I was born with this vice, and I believe, we can change behaviors. We can teach ourselves newer and better ways to react. It’s hard. It’s not easy and that’s why I’m tackling worry this week as my Monday Morning Make Over.

So what will I do about it?

First thing first: I acknowledge my worries. I tell myself to stop. I take several deep breaths. Sometimes I have to distract myself. I look at quotes. I look at pictures. I smile really big at myself in the mirror. My training in 7 habits comes in handy and I draw out the circle of influence diagram. I’m attaching a link to a YouTube video if you’d like to see how this diagram plays out.

Have you heard of the circle of influence? It’s a really great graphic organizer to get your thoughts out there and map out what you can influence and change.

Movement: I learn by moving. When my stress and worry takes control, I have to do something physical to get it out. I go to the gym. I practice Yoga or Pilates in the living room with my kids. I know I mentioned in my last post, emptying the dishwasher helps redirect my thoughts.

Hugs: Ever not felt better after a hug? Maybe it hasn’t taken away the pain or the worry, but for me, there’s something about a really great hug that helps me find an instant smile. When I smile, my mood changes. I don’t feel distress. That’s why I love to spread them.

Trust: I have found sometimes, by turning over my worries to my prayers, I feel a certain comfort in knowing it’s out there. I feel release. I feel hope. And when my worries slip away at some point because they usually do, I think it’s because He is always up there listening, helping carry the burden right along with me.

Last thing: I talk with my friends. I reach out to the people who love me and can help anchor me back on planet earth. My best friend T helps me, my good friend Tracy. Both of them are practical, and to the point, and remind me to let it go.

I’ll check in on Sunday and tell you how it went! And by the way, here’s a list of some of my tricks and some others to try!

http://backonpointe.tumblr.com/post/29341774104

Posted in cloud nine girl, Dreams, Erika Beebe, how to stop worrying, worries

7 Comments

Day Nine: Bucket Lists make us stare at our fears and do something

Apr 2

Posted by Erika Beebe

http://imgfave.com/view/3240386?r=pin

..it’s scary and different, but what if?

Today’s blog challenge asks me to look at my bucket list. Up to today, I’ve had five things I wanted to do in my life. I always thought, keep the list small. Keep the things doable. But now that this blog challenge asks me to think about a bucket list, I wonder why in the world have I limited myself to five things?

Fear probably. I have to take a hard look at my life and face a few things. First of all, I can’t live in today. I have to forecast my future. So let’s say I get a few ideas down. Then what? Well, I have to figure out how to make it happen. Break down the steps. Wonder about the cost. Time scares me too, because right now I feel like I’m constantly running to stay on the tail end of life, and I’m running so fast I can barely catch my breath–but I’m still trying.

Imagination. I have a little bit of this I could spare. ;0) But then I have to deal with the follow-through, which is another scary thought.

But what if? What if I made my bucket list and tried to do one thing this year. Could you do it? Would you try it?

Maybe we should challenge each other a little bit here.

So here goes. Here’s a list I’ve thought carefully about, and these items are in no particular order of importance.

A hot air balloon ride.

I’ve always dreamed about them when I ‘ve seen the big bright balloons drifting in the sky. They’re beautiful. They’re happy.

Dancing.

I’m pulling this one straight from my dream list. I haven’t started it yet, so I figured I could count it as one. Beauty and the Beast style. The dress. The sparkly shoes. And the moves. That is what I want.

Travel.

I want to see Africa. The Lions. The Chimpanzees. To get in a jeep and track some of the wildlife.

Italy. I want to take a Gondola ride. I’ve been to Italy once before, but I never went to some of the cities on the water.

Fiji. I definitely want to go there. I don’t have a real reason aside from all the beautiful island pictures I’ve seen.

Alaska. To see the whales and the Polar bears in their natural habitat.

The Statue of Liberty. I’ve been to New York City twice, but have never stood next to her statue and I’d like that.

Learn a Language: Spanish.

And I want to be able to speak it.

Writing.

I need to finish my novel, move on to the trilogy, and start my next couple of series I have ruminating around in my head.

Head/Handstand. I teach Yoga. Strength and balance are important to me. I’d love to do both of these things someday, and sooner much rather than later.

A rose garden.

I’ll never forget my babysitter’s backyard growing up. She had the most beautiful rose garden, with a stone fountain in the center and a perfect path of stone steps leading right to the heart. I want to design my own garden. To pick my own flowers and wear them in my hair if I want.

Paint.

Another item from my dream list. I want to take another painting class and make something straight from my heart. I never finished an oil painting in school. Wouldn’t that be something?

Make a Difference.

I want to continue pursuing a path to inspire people. To help people believe in their dreams.

Mentor.

I’d like to be a mentor to students in school at some point again. To help them dream and to figure out how to make their dreams come true.

Broadway.

I’ve never been to a Broadway show. I’d like to see something fun like Chicago.

Disney World. I’ve been there at a conference. But I’d love to take my kids. I’d love to actually ride the rides and see their faces as they stare all of their favorite cartoons in the face. Hug them. Laugh. Wow. What a moment.

I’m sure I’ll think of more now that I’m thinking about. I’ll probably add a few from time to time. But if you’re needing some ideas, here’s a couple of web resources I found on the spot.

If you’re not into joining something, take a peek at this website. It listed tons of ideas. http://daringtolivefully.com/bucket-list-ideas

And if you feel like taking a second to think and sharing one thing on your list, I’d love to hear it.

~Erika

Posted in bucket list, cloud nine girl, Dreams, Erika Beebe

Monday Morning Makeover: Balance and keeping my eyes on the stars and one foot firm on the ground

Mar 19

Posted by Erika Beebe

http://music-lyrics-words.blogspot.com

Over the last few days, I have felt the need to reassess balance in my life. Dreams verses the moment. My current roles verses the ones I want for me in the future. Dreaming is never easy and so now I’m working real hard to recreate a daily schedule so I can be everything I need to be and also strive so hard to live.

What does this mean?

It means I work harder with a plan. It means I organize my day and try to follow most of the steps, but not feeling disappointed when sometimes I have to jump over one step or fall backwards down a few to the bottom of the cold hard floor.

How do I plan to do this?

Begin early. Stick with my 4:30 a.m. plan. Say my prayers and feel grateful for each day I have a chance to live my dreams, write and push harder to get the things done I want to do for me.

And the rest of the day?

I am the mom. I focus on the family. I focus on work, and friends, and my household. I take care of all my responsibilities and help my family be all they can be. And at the end of the day, if I’m not tired, I sneak in a few more selfish moments for me.

What issues do I face?

Stepping outside of my whirlwind thoughts. Shutting down my characters and plot lines racing through my head, and how to lock myself in the here and now. Playing with my babies. Laughing, singing, being the mom I love to be. And this week? I have one huge obstacle in my path. Surgery. But it has to be done and recovery is hopefully only 6 days. When it’s over, I’ll be breathing freer and clearer than I ever would have known.

So when you want something to happen, dream it. Do it. Remember the balance. I swear by my lists. I just don’t swear myself to every step anymore, because life is messy. Just a bunch of puzzle pieces thrown in a box and we have to sort through them. Some of the pieces will fit. Some won’t, and that’s okay too.