Over the last few days, I have felt the need to reassess balance in my life. Dreams verses the moment. My current roles verses the ones I want for me in the future. Dreaming is never easy and so now I’m working real hard to recreate a daily schedule so I can be everything I need to be and also strive so hard to live.

It means I work harder with a plan. It means I organize my day and try to follow most of the steps, but not feeling disappointed when sometimes I have to jump over one step or fall backwards down a few to the bottom of the cold hard floor.

Begin early. Stick with my 4:30 a.m. plan. Say my prayers and feel grateful for each day I have a chance to live my dreams, write and push harder to get the things done I want to do for me.

I am the mom. I focus on the family. I focus on work, and friends, and my household. I take care of all my responsibilities and help my family be all they can be. And at the end of the day, if I’m not tired, I sneak in a few more selfish moments for me.

Stepping outside of my whirlwind thoughts. Shutting down my characters and plot lines racing through my head, and how to lock myself in the here and now. Playing with my babies. Laughing, singing, being the mom I love to be. And this week? I have one huge obstacle in my path. Surgery. But it has to be done and recovery is hopefully only 6 days. When it’s over, I’ll be breathing freer and clearer than I ever would have known.

 So when you want something to happen, dream it. Do it. Remember the balance. I swear by my lists. I just don’t swear myself to every step anymore, because life is messy. Just a  bunch of puzzle pieces thrown in a box and we have to sort through them. Some of the pieces will fit. Some won’t, and that’s okay too.