Beware Fear. I Won’t Let You Get Me.
 |
| focusnjoy.com |
My head is in overdrive.
A snowstorm is about to drop a pile of white fluff and ice all over the place.
I’m thinking about food and warmth and what if school gets cancelled tomorrow since I work for a school district. What if my kiddos’ daycare closes because of the road conditions and the possibility of ice slipping into everything, making it impossible to heat the house! And before I can stop myself, my mind floats back to the last snow storm and how my baby was just a baby, and my little Ford Taurus got stuck in a drift right around the corner from my house. I remember the chill and the fear of carting a two year old and an infant up the hill, up the ice-covered driveway, and praying we’d all be warm and safe, and of course, I would have the strength to do it.
Yes, I did it…with the added help of my husband pulling up in the truck at just the right time. That was almost two years ago. I’ve made modifications since then. Now I have a 4-wheel drive Ford Escape. I have a new coat without holes in the pockets where everything stays put and won’t slip out the moment I need them. I live in the present like everyone else, faced with the potential future and still, I can’t keep the fears from resurfacing in that one helpless and horrible moment.
On my way to work today, I dropped the kids off at school. We rounded the corner, down the street toward the familiar tan house and the welcome sign. I mumbled out-loud, “I love you guys. More than anything.”
Without a beat, my son said, “I love you too mom, more than anything.”
And my daughter piped up with her sweet little voice, “I love you too, to anything, momma.”
Fears can be dangerous, sabotaging our thoughts, our successes, rendering us paralyzed if we’re not careful.
Take a moment to breathe. Say something wonderful to yourself or someone else. I haven’t been able to stop smiling about my kids reciprocating the love back. My fears stopped dead. I’m happy. I’m healthy. I’m smiling. And well, I believe I can handle whatever comes my way to the best of my ability.
 |
| stuffpoint.com |
Embrace the Unexpected and Never Give Up
After a really great weekend, I’m steering the course and getting back on track
Monday Makeover: It’s a brand new week and I jumped out of the bed with my arms flying in the air…
Yelling, “This is the week!”
This may not be the week where my dream explodes full force into reality, but it feels good to wake up like that and say the words out loud. It gives me the strength and the belief to put that next foot out there and to get up when my alarm screams so loud it shakes my tired head off the pillow. And sometimes, I need a little over enthusiasm to remind myself my mood is in my own hands. Some of it is physiological I guess, but there are others things I can do to wash that staleness right on out.
The weekend was good. Grandma and grandpa kept the kids overnight Friday, which made me a little sad because I absolutely without a doubt love putting them to bed, saying prayers and blowing kisses. I can’t wait until the moment I hear their sweet voices calling out for me, shuffling to the bed in the morning, crawling in and wrapping their little arms around me so happy just to be together. So it was hard to leave them, knowing I’d miss that moment, but I know it’s good for everyone in the long run. Sigh. I survived, and my weekend turned out pretty great.
So what did I do?
I wrote. I saw a really great blues band, Samantha Fish with one of my besties, and worked out. Power Yoga. Did my split cardio and weight strengthening routine. After the kids napped, we piled in the car and went to my nephews third birthday party, a great relief when it’s cold outside. New toys, new surroundings, and a little group of kids to get silly with. The highlight of my Sunday was something so simple—a cleaning party! I’m convinced now, anything can be made fun for kids. It’s all how you spin it. They raced against each other like racecars, scrubbing the bathroom floor with their sponges, helping clean the shower and we challenged each other in a final race down hall with toys in our arms, seeing who could make it to the right spot and put the toy where it belonged the fastest! Later that night, we ended the day with pizza picnic in a tent in the living room, surrounded in pillows and blankets and watched a movie(though they end up right on top of me on the couch in a dogpile with all the blankets on top). ;0)
So after such a great weekend, how do we forward into Monday, happy to be moving forward?
I’m dreaming. I’m planning. I’m not giving Monday a negative thought and I’m steering the course with both hands on the wheel, my foot on the pedal and being mindful not to gas it too hard so I miss the world. I’m getting up at 4:30 a.m. I’m having my cup of coffee. I’m looking at my favorite quotes and pictures to start my day and I’m writing. I’m going to work, I’m dreaming and planning, and I’m doing my best each day. And now I’ve added a new goal. I’m getting healthy again. Because by accomplishing a smaller goal, tracking what goes in my mouth, taking care of my body and building more strength so I can ultimately do the headstand I’m aiming to do, I’m helping my mind and my body. I’m more creative now. I remember more things. And patience? There’s more of it to spread around. ;0)
What about you? What little thing can you do this week to help boost your mood and steer the course to something bigger and better in your life?
A Friday snapshot from my life: Just a girl who owned a snake once
I spent a huge chunk of my life hanging out in a zoo in my hometown in Kansas.
One of my really great friends lived across the street. We were sort of twins for awhile, hanging out, spending every moment together we could carpooling to the nearest zoo in winter; in summer, we road our bikes. I loved the summer months. I’d wake up ready for the day, eat my bowl of Corn Chex (which is really weird because now I’m completely allergic to corn), throw on my blue volunteer shirt and leave my house every morning around 8:30 to pedal the four miles to the zoo. I’d stay there until noon, preparing animal diets, scooping unmentionable byproducts after breakfast, and shadow a basic zookeeper routine almost every day of the week. High noon struck and I’d ride my purple mountain bike back home, head to my friend’s house so I could turn around and accompany her to the zoo by 1:00. She’d spend the rest of the afternoon with the same zookeeper while I busied myself watching the chimps or the spider monkeys, typing in my observations into some really ancient computer. We’d head back to our houses at 4:00, she to hers and me to mine, where I spent the rest of my day far away from my bicycle and doing whatever else teenagers did in my day. ;0)
So at 13, I already had a different outlook about animals: charting behavior patterns of Chimpanzees, cleaning up after smiling singing dogs, dangerous Cassowaries while avoiding a pair of stalking vultures just waiting to jump on my back outside of an exhibit. Heckle and Jekyll. Perfect names right? I’m proud to say I even spent some time cleaning up after Hippos.
So in college, when I hung out with a Herpetology major for awhile, I don’t think my mom was shocked a bit by my new choice of pet: A Ball Python. I took it with me to college. I took it with me to class. I’d wrap him around my arm, throw on a jacket and most of the time, he’d sleep and no one ever knew. I didn’t think anything of it. I loved my snake. It was normal to me—but I guess, maybe I wasn’t all that normal to begin with. LOL.
One day, in the middle of the History of Architecture class, my snake woke up. He poked out his nose from underneath my sleeve and his little tongue flicked out tasting the air. A girl just sat down next to me in class. She screamed so loud and jumped about 4 rows of seats, hit the floor and ran wild from the room. I felt bad. Really I did. But I still loved that snake. He pulled his head back under my jacket sleeve and went back to paying total attention to himself.
Cloud Nine Girl 