Beware Fear. I Won’t Let You Get Me.
My head is in overdrive.
A snowstorm is about to drop a pile of white fluff and ice all over the place.
I’m thinking about food and warmth and what if school gets cancelled tomorrow since I work for a school district. What if my kiddos’ daycare closes because of the road conditions and the possibility of ice slipping into everything, making it impossible to heat the house! And before I can stop myself, my mind floats back to the last snow storm and how my baby was just a baby, and my little Ford Taurus got stuck in a drift right around the corner from my house. I remember the chill and the fear of carting a two year old and an infant up the hill, up the ice-covered driveway, and praying we’d all be warm and safe, and of course, I would have the strength to do it.
Yes, I did it…with the added help of my husband pulling up in the truck at just the right time. That was almost two years ago. I’ve made modifications since then. Now I have a 4-wheel drive Ford Escape. I have a new coat without holes in the pockets where everything stays put and won’t slip out the moment I need them. I live in the present like everyone else, faced with the potential future and still, I can’t keep the fears from resurfacing in that one helpless and horrible moment.
On my way to work today, I dropped the kids off at school. We rounded the corner, down the street toward the familiar tan house and the welcome sign. I mumbled out-loud, “I love you guys. More than anything.”
Without a beat, my son said, “I love you too mom, more than anything.”
And my daughter piped up with her sweet little voice, “I love you too, to anything, momma.”
Fears can be dangerous, sabotaging our thoughts, our successes, rendering us paralyzed if we’re not careful.
Take a moment to breathe. Say something wonderful to yourself or someone else. I haven’t been able to stop smiling about my kids reciprocating the love back. My fears stopped dead. I’m happy. I’m healthy. I’m smiling. And well, I believe I can handle whatever comes my way to the best of my ability.