Monthly Archives: December 2012
This Year I will "LIVE as though heaven is on earth."
I want to live like everyday is heaven. What would that be like to you? What what that feel like? I envision it going something like this: I wake up. I smile. I feel fresh, new and ready to live the lessons I learned from the day before. I think a day like heaven would rely on forgiveness of hurts. Philosophies of acceptance for differences. I think living life like heaven relies heavily on communication and understanding why we say the things we do. Maybe we haven’t forgiven a hurt and it keeps coming back to haunt us. In any case, I want to explore the hurts and let them go. Her words surprised me.She rarely called me out like that. I thought about it for a long time. All sorts of old memories surfaced about me moving from one hometown to another. Making Friends. Losing Friends. And all because I didn’t believe in “AND.”
I guess I’ve lived my life believing it’s not okay to disagree. If you disagree you’re too different, so let it go and step away. My best friend kept apology letters from me in her drawer for the longest time, how we’d fight over a place to eat. I wanted to win. I did, and then I felt so rotten I’d send her a 5 page letter about how sorry I was. I didn’t have to win. It’s not like we’d never go to dinner again and the next time, I could pick.
I realize now, after many hurt relationships and landing a job in corporate training where I actually taught managers how to work with people, how wrong my personal philosophy was, even though I didn’t realize how deeply I hung on to that theory.
The curriculum of Crucial Conversations opened my eyes to a whole new world of speaking and acting. I always thought I had to hide what I felt inside if someone didn’t agree. I was scared of fighting, even though in some weird way I was also a fighter.
This is the year I want to define ME. I want to live each day with what matters most to me. And in order to do that, I have to search my soul. I know I’m a wife, a mother, a friend, a coworker, a daughter a sister, an aunt and so many other things, but deep down, I want to tease the “me” apart so I can be better in the rest of my roles.
Life happens so fast, you blink and you don’t realize you’ve left behind the things that brought joy to you. I want to recreate those joys. Getting married, having two babies, working and living day-to-day can make you forget some of the important things inside your own heart.
2012 was a difficult year on many levels in almost all the roles in my life. I think I’m ready for 2013. I’ve got a flashlight and I’ll shine my way through. I’ll explore the “AND” in all things and all relationships, the power of forgiveness, and what life could be like if every single day I reminded myself of the power of both. That’s what I think would help me LIVE everyday just a little bit closer to heaven. So I’ll set it as my dream this year and I’ll keep you posted on how I do.
Look up. Brighten Your Day With A Smile.
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I went to the gym today. I taught my usual Saturday morning Yoga class. Afterwards, I walked around listening to my music, trying to figure out what I wanted to do next when I caught a stranger’s gaze, and I smiled.
I jumped on a couple of different cardio machines and in between my interval training, I saw another couple of strangers, and I smiled. Then I thought about how awesome it made me feel.
Many days I do some of the same things. I go to some of the same places and I have to admit, I don’t always take the time to smile. I get stuck in my own little world. I think about my day. The hurts. The blessings. I travel to my next destination, whether it be the bathroom at work, the break room, or the next machine at the gym with my mind wrapped around some sort of thought.
So why am I writing about smiles today? Because like this morning, I realized how good it feels to spread one. I liked thinking about someone else for a moment and letting my mind go perfectly quiet. Maybe you’ll get a smile back. Maybe someone hasn’t been smiled at all day and yours is the first. In any case, it brightened my morning. It inspired me enough to wonder about someone else’s life in the moment, and then I remembered, how fortunate I am to be exactly where I am right now.
A couple of fun quotes that made me smile in seconds:
Smile. Have you ever noticed how easily puppies make human friends? Yet all they do is wag their tails and fall over. ~Walter Anderson
Smiling is infectious,
You can catch it like the flu.
Someone smiled at me today,
And I started smiling too.
~Anonymous
Merry Christmas Eve!
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| http://www.craftymamablog.com/2010/12/baby-jesus-in-manger.html |
Today is a beautiful day. It’s the celebration of the night before a miracle baby was born. A baby who represents all things love and all things hope.
I wanted to take a moment today to remember the spirit of Christmas. How it’s not about getting gifts, but giving gifts. Gifts of the best kind. The gift of love for each other. Remembering the people that matter most to us. The gift of hope. Believing there will always be a new day and a new beginning because that baby was born.
As a parent, there’s nothing better than being fortunate to give gifts from my heart because I love my babies and I want them to feel love and dream about endless possibilities in their new gifts. And seeing my kids smiling cheeks, hearing their laughter shaking their chests, and of course, the awesome huge hugs, makes me feel quite good inside.
But I also want to teach my kids about the spirit of that baby. How Christmas is about Him and the promise of that baby growing up into a bigger more giant meaning for all of us.
Merry Christmas everyone. I wish you an awesome day of love and peace and of course, hope.
There’s a stranger at my door
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I wasn’t scared then, but then I thought, should I be?
I had just finished fixing dinner. Some sort of mini turkey moatloaves I make for the kids because they’re smaller and cute and I’ll try just about anything to get them to eat something healthy. My husband wasn’t home yet. I don’t know what it is about Thursday nights, but drivers seem to be less careful and more likely to crash into each other, backing up traffic.
I put the plates of food down for the kids and sat in my chair. Suddenly my BIG boxer jumped up from his spot at the top of the stairs. He rushed down the steps barking his voice of threat, shaking the house.
I called him back. He wouldn’t stop. I turned all the way around and my heart jumped. I expected to see the rear of a car, backing out of one of our neighbors’ houses, a common trigger for his alarm.
Instead, I met a shadow at the door—a giant dog stared back at me with his nose against the glass—a German Shepherd. I got up from the table. It’s not entirely unusual to have a dog at my front door. Our neighborhood is full of them and sometimes they run loose.
I started to walk down the steps to get a better look, but it was dark and I couldn’t see all that well. I kept staring at the glass and I jumped when I caught the outline of a tall man standing behind the dog. Maybe I’m exaggerating a little, but he was almost as tall as the door.
I pushed my dog aside and I cracked the door open with my leg in the space. I looked the stranger in the eyes and he had the lightest eyes I’d ever seen.
“Hey, what can I help you with?” I said.
The stranger smiled.
He said something like, “I found this dog up the street and wanted to see if he belonged to anyone in the neighborhood.“
I studied the German Shepherd again. His gray hair. The bald spot on his back. Strangely, he wasn’t scared. He was wagging his tail, and I didn’t know what to think right then.
I said, “I’ve never seen him around here. He’s probably been wandering for awhile.”
And that was that. The guy said thanks. I said thanks and I closed the door.
Two seconds later, my phone rang. Our neighbors warned me about the strange man going door to door. I told them I thought he was harmless. Just a guy hoping to find a home for a stray.
They sighed with relief and asked if they could come over.
Then I started to wonder, if they were scared, should I be?
Maybe I did the wrong thing. Maybe I did the right thing.
I guess I have to do the right thing for me, and in moments like this, I have to go back to my philosophy of believing the best in people. I couldn’t imagine what my life would be like if I lived each day thinking everyone has a clear dirty motive. Yes, there’s bad out there, but there’s also a lot of good. Maybe the stranger at my door was honestly trying to find a home for a dog. He didn’t want to see the dog roaming the streets alone.
I’ll believe in the best. I can only believe in what I know and what I see, and anything else would be just a guess.
And most certainly, I wouldn’t want anyone to think the worst of me.






