Category Archives: messy life
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When you were sixteen, do you remember what was most important in the moment?
For me, life, dreams, the promise of getting out and doing something on my own. I wanted a career. To go to school and find that perfect job that would make me feel proud every day. Where I could afford my perfect place to live and go skipping down the yellow brick road from my house in my sparkly red shoes—no Toto—but an equally nice boy to spend my days and nights with, and then everything perfect would fall into place.
It didn’t fall perfectly into place.
I’m still searching for my perfect job and I’m still not in my dream home. It has taken me a long time to find that equally nice boy, too. But I’m getting there. I’m feeling grateful for the work along the way, because I know, when my perfect job comes along, I’ll say my prayers and be grateful to live each day doing something I LOVE.
So what do I want to be when I grow up?
I’m cycling back to a six-year-old wish (after the desire to be a bird of course). Writing. Writing fiction. Writing Young Adult Fantasy. I’ve always been a writer and a dreamer, painting really great stories about hope and peace and conquering the impossible. Because at times in my life, I feel like I’ve faced the impossible, and writing has always been the best escape.
I have had my struggles like everyone else. I’ve faced death, love, broken hearts, a broken marriage. It’s hard to swallow the broken marriage piece at times, but it happened. And I’m taking all that I’ve learned in each of these struggles and I’m building something great. I’m going back to the pull I’ve had in life, to make a difference, not just for myself, but on a larger scale, and I want to make a difference to others, and to help create dreams when you feel like you don’t have any left.
At 30, I thought I almost had the perfect job. Corporate training. Teaching new managers how to be better managers—I felt like I impacted lives. I made the decision to leave it behind and take care of my family. I found something close to home and welcomed a son and two years later, a daughter, too. Having my babies filled me with so much love again. They brought back my urge to write and dream, and at 36, I found my six-year-old sparkle again. I have the family. I have a home. I currently don’t have red slippers, but I’m sure I can find some an amazon.com. And I am working really hard to make my dream job come true. It’s happening for me. It’s getting so much closer, and I believe I will be a professional full-time author someday. If you dream it, if you work for it, I honestly believe that miracles and dreams become life.
If you want to read about a place to start asking about your dreams, here’s a post where I answered some questions about where I started. And if you are looking for something deeper, here’s a link to a post on how to begin to think about a personal mission statement. I also have one. Please feel free to check out my words I try to live by.
Give your dreams life! “Don’t be afraid to give yourself everything you’ve ever wanted in life.”
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