Category Archives: Erika Beebe
Monday Motivation: Dreams. Dream Coaches. Moving Somewhere No Matter What.
In these past few weeks, I have stumbled across a really great show called The Voice. I’m not sure If you’ve seen the show with the four famous judges or not, and maybe you’re a secret addict just like me. In any case, I love the show. I love the dynamics, the talent, and above all things, the promise of taking a gift you see in someone else, and helping them develop it to make their dreams come true.
Last week I watched one of the judges let go of an extremely talented young singer, who was immediately snatched up by two other judges. She had to pick which judge to go with—between Adam Levine and Usher. Can you imagine? Can you imagine being someone trying so hard and having all the doors shut in your face and not getting exactly where you want to be fast enough, and then in a blink, this golden arch appears and just on the other side, two people want to take your hand and bring you through it—to face your dream destination.
Her past coach reminded them: “She wants to be a singer but most importantly, a song writer. Don’t forget that.”
I am feeling incredibly inspired by the snippets I catch in a few minutes of uninterrupted TV time. Being a working mom, you tend to move constantly, in all sorts of directions to get what you need to get done, done, and well, I hardly ever sit down and watch TV. But I’ll make as much time for this show that I can. Because wow, it’s helped me keep my own fire burning strong.
Miracles happen. Worry happens too. But if you work and want your dreams, I believe the right doors open exactly as they are supposed to, and how the right people come into your life to help you.
So that’s what I’m doing. I just finished my novel and I am preparing to send it out to the world again. I’m preparing to send it to the publisher who believed in my short story enough to want it out in the world. I’m nervous, but I’m trusting. I’m believing. I’m getting past my fears, and I’m putting my best foot out there because I know there’s no other way than to spread your wings and take a chance. Even if they say no, I’ll still win to some degree. I’ll be sad, but I’ll also get feedback. And no matter what, I will keep going. That’s just what you do if you want to live your dreams.
Monday Makeover: Confessions of a Giant Worry Wart
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I wake up. I rub my sleepy eyes and walk slowly down the hall to the kitchen. I take my thyroid medication. I fill a cup of coffee and I sit down at my computer, and I worry.
Was I too loud when I woke up? Will my babies stay asleep? What will I write today? My head is so foggy, and what if I can’t feel my characters? What if the pictures I pick are not exactly what I mean?
What if…
I see my babies. They crawl into bed and beg for snuggles. We cuddle a bit, and suddenly a new string of worries grabs me: what if they don’t always have their health, what if they get sick, or go to school and someone bullies them? What if I didn’t show them the right values? Did I love them enough?
What if…
I go to work. I sit at my desk sipping coffee. The phone rings. I answer and hang up after making sure the person on the other end of the conversation felt listened to. My brain runs off again: What if I didn’t say the right thing, or I didn’t give them what they wanted to hear? What if I don’t make my personal deadlines for the day, or I don’t communicate well? What if I walk down the hall and I talk out loud or accidentally sing a song out loud that’s running through my head and someone laughs?
So what next?
First the mind creates the worries. Then the body reacts. My stomach gets tight. My breath becomes shallow. I could go on with my list, because if I’m not careful, they start to race through my mind again.
Worry is my biggest vice. It sends me into a downward spiral where I over-think the easiest solution, and the funniest thing is, I was born with this vice, and I believe, we can change behaviors. We can teach ourselves newer and better ways to react. It’s hard. It’s not easy and that’s why I’m tackling worry this week as my Monday Morning Make Over.
So what will I do about it?
First thing first: I acknowledge my worries. I tell myself to stop. I take several deep breaths. Sometimes I have to distract myself. I look at quotes. I look at pictures. I smile really big at myself in the mirror. My training in 7 habits comes in handy and I draw out the circle of influence diagram. I’m attaching a link to a YouTube video if you’d like to see how this diagram plays out.
Have you heard of the circle of influence? It’s a really great graphic organizer to get your thoughts out there and map out what you can influence and change.
Movement: I learn by moving. When my stress and worry takes control, I have to do something physical to get it out. I go to the gym. I practice Yoga or Pilates in the living room with my kids. I know I mentioned in my last post, emptying the dishwasher helps redirect my thoughts.
Hugs: Ever not felt better after a hug? Maybe it hasn’t taken away the pain or the worry, but for me, there’s something about a really great hug that helps me find an instant smile. When I smile, my mood changes. I don’t feel distress. That’s why I love to spread them.
Trust: I have found sometimes, by turning over my worries to my prayers, I feel a certain comfort in knowing it’s out there. I feel release. I feel hope. And when my worries slip away at some point because they usually do, I think it’s because He is always up there listening, helping carry the burden right along with me.
Last thing: I talk with my friends. I reach out to the people who love me and can help anchor me back on planet earth. My best friend T helps me, my good friend Tracy. Both of them are practical, and to the point, and remind me to let it go.
I’ll check in on Sunday and tell you how it went! And by the way, here’s a list of some of my tricks and some others to try!
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Sunday Reflections: Patience
Every Sunday I plan to post a recap of my week. What I did to pursue my goal. Whether I followed it, attempted it, and maybe, I even flopped at it. Your comments are always welcome and if you’d like to share something you did this week with me, I’d love to hear it.
Monday Makeover Goal: Patience
I tried hard to focus on Patience this week. Patience with my kids. Patience with my dog. Patience in the work world, and patience with myself.
The Good
I took quite a few breathing breaks.
My kids like to wrestle. They like to wrestle with my big dog. And I’m a momma who likes to coach others into their own self-realization, so after several warnings that someone might get hurt, sure enough, they did—either by the dog stepping on their feet, or scratching them or grabbing on to each other too tight. I closed my eyes. I held them and comforted them and we talked through what happened. We assured each other no one intentionally hurt one another, and I feel pretty good about that.
The Great
I controlled my voice in a few moments where I might have normally fired off a little loud. ;0) I’m human. I yell. I don’t like it when I do. But there were a few times I caught myself. I apologized. I teach my kids we always apologize and why. I often say, “Mommy isn’t perfect. I mess up I shouldn’t have been so upset and I’m sorry. I love you. I always love you, no matter what.” We talk about emotions. We talk about the what and the why. I tend to be a little over explainer, and I don’t necessarily think that’s a bad thing. My son makes me smile. He pipes up right back, “It’s ok mommy. It was an accident. I love you!”
And The Incredible Wow!
I have two examples to share:
“No, why?” I asked.
“Because you slammed the phone down. I figured you were mad.” They went on with how rude it was. I felt the heat begin to rise. I used to teach Customer Service classes, and I’d never ever, try to be rude with anyone looking for answers. They went on with their personal story. How if they were on the other line, they’d be really upset with me.
I took a breath. The heat kept rising, and I will never forget the words, “but I’m not criticizing.”
I responded in this way: “I am energy. Everything I do is full of energy. I didn’t mean to hang up the phone so loud. I don’t own a home phone, and I forget if the other person even hears the sound of the phone being hung up. I doubted they did. And there is something else, I had to hang up the phone loud, because the call right before, I did it too soft, and I accidentally left the phone off line for a couple of minutes until I noticed.”
I could be wrong. In the moment, I really wasn’t happy, and I did say thank you a little more sharp than I should have. They stood there and I guessed, maybe they wanted me to apologize personally to them. I don’t know. That’s the story that ran through my head. Stories are never good when we don’t have all the facts. I didn’t continue to pursue them, but in the moment, I feel like I handled myself well.
And my novel? I am beaming with sunshine! I had a really great conversation with my step-dad about a chapter I couldn’t get past. I’d been stuck in it for almost a month and he freed me. We had a great brainstorming session and I flew through two chapters in two days! So in my writing, I am so glad I stuck with it. I stared at that pesky chapter every day. Every morning when I woke up I kept reading and rereading my words, going back a few chapters, getting into the motives of my characters. I didn’t give up, and that thought makes me so incredibly happy with myself.
And what did I learn?
I still have a lot to learn. ;0) And that’s ok, because I know, I am a work in progress.
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Friday Flashback: You can’t force a first kiss. I know. I tried.
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…Now I see where my daughter gets it. ;0)
I think I was eight or nine, a boy crazy girl. We still lived in a small Kansas town, so I couldn’t have been much older than that. My older brother was a social butterfly and the boys in the neighborhood congregated in our yard or our house quite a bit. I had to beg and plead to let me play with them. Most of the time, I was the sucker who did all the chores as a bargaining chip—but then when I was done, my brother pulled a Houdini. GONE.
It was a warm day. A sizzling summer afternoon. The boys were in the house and I stood in the hallway connecting the bedrooms with the kitchen. One of the much older Kevins’ stood against the glass door across from me with the sunshine lighting up his back. He looked at me with some curious look probably squinting with his arms crossed. I smiled. I can’t remember exactly what I said or if I leaned into him with my lips pressed and ready; I know whatever I did had to do with a kiss, me moving into him. He stood there surprised, pulling way back to the door, and then he laughed.
I felt my cheeks grow warm. In two seconds I turned around in the kitchen and grabbed a broom and ran him out of the house.
Cloud Nine Girl 