I can’t be anyone else but me
I’ll never be perfect. Yes, I’ll always make mistakes. But I’m trying real hard to make less mistakes I’ll regret in the long run. I’m writing these words today because I was inspired by two examples of life that happened to me this evening. And in each one I felt something, a strong emotion. I made decisions to act as we all do—and I made these decisions because I felt they were right.
I was on my to pick up the kids from grandma’s house. She’d been gone on vacation awhile and my kids missed her very much. I left the gym and stopped at a stoplight, wanting to turn right, but then a man stepped out into the street. The crosswalk sign flashed, and I waited a safe distance back so he could pass from one long side of the road to the other. A car behind me kept honking her horn. I say her, because I looked in my mirror and got a great shot of her short blonde hair and mouthy lips as she was spewing a list of not so nice words my way. Sorry lady. I know I was holding you up. But first of all, in my eyes, pedestrians always have the right away. I’ve been tapped on the leg before while crossing the road. I’ve nearly been run over when I worked downtown. So what’s worse? Hitting a man? Or ticking off some lady who was probably late and not paying attention to what was happening right in front of her eyes.
Earlier today, my car was having a problem with the blinkers. The rear turn signal wasn’t working right because it was sounding off twice as fast as usual. I took a friend’s advice and thought I could figure out the problem myself so I went to the auto store and took in my manual like a dork. I got my light bulbs. With a screwdriver in one hand, the manual resting on the trunk of my car, I loosened the tail light and attempted to pull out the bulbs—only one of them wouldn’t come out. A man pulled up next to me. He said, “you’ve been struggling with that for a while, need a hand?” I said “sure,” remembering my automechanics class back in highschool when I couldn’t reach the top of my car on that lift to change the oil. One of my guy friends, a really tall basketball player reached up and unscrewed the whatever it was called. ;0) Of course he didn’t even need a step stool, or have to stand up on his toes. In anycase, I was thankful for the guy today that offered his help. He showed me the trick of popping the bulbs out and I got it—the best news was this—the bulb wasn’t bad at all. It just needed a little extra twist and it was working again.
So both examples today made me feel something in the moment. I responded to basic interactions and I did what I felt was right in each situation. Don’t hit the guy in the crosswalk. Don’t give up, and say yes to help every once in awhile when you really need it.
I do what I think is right in my heart, and I do make my decisions because I’m the one that has to live with the results. Time is fast. I’m always feeling like I’m grasping for negative minutes. So I refuse to let pressure lead me anywhere but exactly where I want to go. I will be me. I will continue to be a little weird, because I just am. But I’m proud of who I am—I’m proud when I can say I do the things in life that make me happy.