What makes us put off our dreams because I don’t get it

I knew this girl once.

She let her fears control her.

We’d go on walks. We’d go to lunch and she’d share her dreams in such elaborate detail I believed they were real. I believed she was on the track to take that first step any day.

So I asked her, “When are you planning to start?”

She stopped. Her eyes got big, and she said, “Well, I just hadn’t thought about that part.”

I haven’t talked to this girl in years, but that doesn’t mean I don’t think about her. I wonder if she ever started. I wonder, what is it about fear that is so darn powerful?

I remember the exact moment I realized I wasn’t making my dreams happen. It was the advice of my husband years ago. We talked about my career and if I could do that one thing, what would it be? I said, well, I want to write. And he chuckled then and responded (not in these exact words), “why fill your time with stuff that doesn’t matter? Do what matters and write.”

Now, if I don’t do a little something everyday, I feel extremely agitated. It’s like I’m putting off something inside that has to get out. Years ago I was a gym junky and if I missed a workout, I sort of felt the same way. Upset. Antsy. But now, the feeling means so much more.  I can’t wait for tomorrow.  Even if I stay up later than I want to, and I write for maybe an hour, and even if whatever I wrote wasn’t good, I did something. I can push those words around the next day. I felt like I’d done something huge, and I feel good about myself.

And I do, I haven’t stopped since, and I’m getting better at it everyday.

So I guess my question becomes this, what makes us wait, and what was it for you that helped you put your best foot out there?

About Erika Beebe

Author, dreamer, and a momma to a couple of wonderful kids, I try to live life everyday in hope and inspire others along my way.

Posted on May 28, 2012, in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink. 1 Comment.

  1. I get so frustrated by fear and the way it holds me back. I look at "fearless" people (or so it looks to me) and I wonder why I can't be as bold as they are. Why do I let fear get the best of me? This is something I'm constantly at work on… we were meant to live for so much more than this. I want to see our dreams come true and I know they can! We just can't give up on ourselves. PLEASE keep writing, E. You inspire me to write!

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