Why Don’t We Believe?
Listening to the radio on my way to the YMCA this morning, I heard a recap of something Kevin Costner said at Whitney Houston’s funeral. His speech ended with him talking directly to Whitney and boosting her faith in her voice while singing to God in Heaven. Then he said, don’t worry Whitney, “you are good enough.”
I admit to a near crying experience on the spot as the water rose up to the surface of my eyes. It was one of those pesky triggers in my own life where I had often wondered: am I good enough?
Now I know after years of reflection and my own uphill battles the answer is YES!
I am also very lucky. I have had a mother, a father and a brother who have all loved me in their own ways. I know not everyone does and I’ve met some who have had no one but the skin on their own back. So I guess what I’m trying to say is, no matter who we are, no matter how many others love us or don’t, no matter how much money we have or don’t, there is still the possibility of finding this one question of self-doubt deep in our hearts and our souls.
Why is that, you might think. I can’t answer that for you. I can only encourage you to explore that question for yourself. But what I do believe is in the quote I picked today: You are exactly where you’re supposed to be in this moment of your life. You are stronger than you think. And only you have the ability to make something of the next moment with the power of your choices.
So here’s what I’ve been reading about to help: How to build our feeling of self worth for ourselves so we can make better choices. And the tips I’ve discovered come from the following article:
1) We are what we think and it’s helpful to understand our own mental traps. So if you believe you don’t deserve a bit of happiness or you can’t forgive someone, than most certainly, it won’t happen.
2) Set goals and expectations that you can achieve. I love making check marks or crossing out things I’ve done. I feel accomplished and successful. But I can only feel this way if I set the goals and follow-through. I have to also be realistic in what I set up for me. Is a week doable? A month? What else is going on in my life that might get in the way? Build all of that into your plan.
3) Make lists of achievements and mistakes. We are what we are and can learn from studying and knowing ourselves. So if I said something to someone I’m not proud of and I hurt their feelings, it’s good for me to understand what I did so I can be careful next time, or explain myself differently.
4) Explore yourself. Take time to make lists of strengths and weakness. Think about what you want. What you don’t want. And begin with goals that will fulfill those desires.
5) Make adjustments to your own self image. Time goes by. Sometimes goals need to shift a bit because what has been done in the past isn’t doable today.
6) Be you and don’t compare yourself to anyone else.
Self-esteem is an ugly shadow hiding in the deepest darkest corner of your mind, sneaking out when you least expect it. I know it will happen for me from time to time. But I won’t let it bring me down or get in the way of my dreams.